Tactics Tuesdays

If you’re having a tough time getting yourself to approach women, these are the 7 steps you need. In 30 minutes, you’ll OBLITERATE your approach anxiety.

Sub-Zero, our long-struggling reader, recently requested an even simpler way to dip your toes into the ‘approach girls’ pool than our Newbie Assignment:

3. Do you have baby steps for approaching with the newbie assignment or just approaching in general? I need the most simplest, easiest way to approach because for some reason I can’t do it. I can talk when girls talk to me, but anything with me having to start the convo or me having to carry the convo and close, I just can’t do it.

I know you thought I meant in general and thought I was ok with night clubs, I’m better there, but after being out the game for so long, I just can’t open, carry the convo, or close, especially for day game.

All right, so here are the SUPER BABY STEPS for making an approach on a girl.

If your approach anxiety is crippling or you’re so rusted over your approach muscles won’t budge an inch, this is the guide you want to follow.

This is what I use personally to jump into action any time I’ve acquired some rust and need to get back to it. This also allows you to get into gear pretty quick, assuming you have some prior approaching experience.

If you don’t have prior experience approaching women, you don’t have to go through all this – just go up to the level you are comfortable with. Then try to go a little further the next time.

The statement of intent (SOI) is a powerful tool in the seducer’s arsenal. Combined with a barrier it can be used to dramatically push a seduction forward.

A common problem guys have chatting up new girls is “stalling out.” That’s what we call it when you approach a girl, open her, she seems receptive, you flirt a little bit… and then this whole vibe of, “Okay, so… where’s this going to?” settles over the interaction.

Then it gets awkward.

Then you hear, “Well, it was nice to meet you!” and the girl ejects.

Maybe she liked you!

Maybe it could’ve gone somewhere!

But it didn’t, because she couldn’t figure out where things were headed next, and you failed to lead. How DO you lead properly and avoid having interactions with girls stall out this way?

One way to do it is by stating your intentions (a.k.a. stating your interest).

Some girls will hit you with lots of resistance. Even if they like you, they won’t go past a certain point. You may want to give up. But what if you endure?

On a recent article of mine, a reader asked:

Chase,

You've repeatedly said to move "fast." But I'm seeing field reports of beating around the bush for hours on end. There's one from a dude who was "vibing" for 90 mins. Another one was from a guy who expended three hours before doing constant thigh rubbing. After some resistance, he gave up.

Maybe you could do another article about "moving things along purposefully"?

I like the topic suggestion.

However, reading this comment actually makes me think of a different topic that I feel like writing about more today instead. So, with apologies to our commenter (and perhaps I will circle back to purposeful forward movement… although I have already covered making invites, getting compliance, dealing with girls telling you no, and forward movement; how to time your moves and use ‘timers’ to not stall out, what creates resistance; plus a whole slew of ways to bust through it somewhat to death already), I’m going to write on that topic instead.

The topic for today’s Tactics Tuesday is endurance runs… a surprisingly simple girl-getting strategy, which we have talked about here and there, but one I am frankly a bit surprised more men don’t employ.

Want a girl to show you she wants to meet? Here’s a simple tactic: do stuff that calls her attention to your face, so she notices you & can signal you.

Here’s something that’s so obvious you’ll be amazed you didn’t think of it yourself.

Most people most of the time, including most women, are in an autopilot ‘holding pattern’. They are in an unstimulated state, awaiting stimulation. Sometimes you will come across women who are present and aware and actively searching (e.g., for a potential mate), but this is somewhat rare. Most of the time people are off in their own worlds.

Of course, before we can commence a courtship or a seduction, we first need to get the attention of the girl we’d like to do that with. You can’t just jump in front of her with your arms waving and yell “Booga booga!” though. So what can you do?

One of the simplest, most casual, most Law of Least Effort-abiding ways to get girls paying attention to you (and elicit approach invitations) is with one of a number of moves designed to get girls to look at your face.

To pull off a same-night lay, you can’t just talk about any old topic to girls. Instead, you must focus on topics that seduce: the ASSTAP topics.

What you talk about with women helps frame the interaction with them – and the ultimate end result.

Spend a couple hours talking to a girl about My Little Pony and her string of no-good ex-boyfriends, and you’ll likely find yourself with a magical ticket to the friend zone.

Devote your time with a woman to nothing but career advice and tips on how she can live her best existence, and you’ll have talked your way into being her new (and unpaid) life coach.

If instead of those or other less desirable outcomes you wish to end up with a girl undressed in your bedroom with you this very night, you are going to need to talk about something different.

The best things to talk about with her if the lay is your goal are six (6) particular topics:

1. Adventure
2. Spontaneity
3. Sexuality
4. “Tomorrow we may die”
5. Autonomy
6. “Peas in a pod”

… six little topics, which we can innocently abbreviate as ASSTAP.

Because when you talk to girls with these topics, you’ll be tapping that ass.

Let’s dive in.

If you’re talking to your buddies somewhere social, and you want to talk to girls but can’t think of a smooth way, “Can I borrow you?” will save the day.

Want an opener that’s fun, positions you as an authority, gets girls investing right from the outset, and immediately makes them follow your lead?

Meet The “Can I Borrow You?” Opener, a short and sweet opener that does all these things for you right out of the gate. It is both a compliance opener and a high authority opener.

To use this opener, you’re simply going to ask a girl if you can “borrow” her – and then you are going to pull her into whatever scheme you have to get her talking to you.

I’ll explain.