Tactics Tuesdays

Prefacing lets you approach women or issues in ways that they’d push back on otherwise… yet, with you, thanks to you prefacing, they accept (& even enjoy!).

Tiny little tactic here that lets you get away with lots.

Generally there are some subjects in conversation you cannot touch. Certain sensitivities, criticisms, or, alternately, certain proposals. Things that if you accuse someone of them or suggest them raise so many hackles it can blow the whole conversation up.

Sometimes, too, you’ll meet hot-tempered people quick to jump to conclusions every time you manage to utter more than a few syllables. These individuals can be particularly hard to talk to, as they personalize nearly everything you say.

Finally, there are things you might say – including many of the openers you deliver to women during cold approach – that might be hard to swallow on their own. They seem incongruent or hard to believe. A woman might think you’re just yanking her chain.

The one tactic you can use to route around each and every one of these problems is prefacing; where you use a short prefacing statement to pace your listener’s understanding before diving into the juicy stuff.

If you want to get a girl to do what you want, it’s a lot easier if she thinks what you want is ‘what everyone is doing’ or ‘what the cool kids do’. That’s conformity framing.

Women are herd creatures. Women, far more than men, feel driven to conform.

You might be short, poor, bald, ugly, dumb, or out-of-step; we’ve all got drawbacks. Yet how do you deal with these when women bring them up?

It’s pretty common for men to feel insecure about whatever drawbacks they may have:

• Too short
• Too ugly
• Too bald
• Too broke
• Too young
• Too old
• Too much of a nobody
• Too unaccomplished
• Too awkward
• Too dumb
• Too out-of-step with the culture

Guys will put off approaching girls, skip approaching altogether, and otherwise remain stuck in safe spaces out of fear of rejection over their drawbacks.

When they do make an approach on a girl, they often look for ways to self-deprecate, which only highlights their weakness and makes them look insecure; or else they act defensive if it gets brought up, which again makes them seem insecure.

How, then, do you defuse your disadvantages when you approach new girls – or even when you go on a date, or are inside a relationship?

In this Tactics Tuesdays installment, I’ll provide you with three (3) separate (but each one of them useful) ways.

Most men during breakups plead, rage, or act like rocks. None of these are ideal though. Instead, you want to seduce her on the way out – with the Nonplussed Romantic Breakup Attitude.

Over the years I have seen a lot of men respond to breakups a lot of different ways:

• Begging women to stay

• Pledging they will change

• Declaring “You need me!”

• Asking to “Make it work”

• Indignation (“Ungrateful!”)

• Defiance (“Who needs you!”)

One thing I very, very rarely see is the man who is completely nonplussed…

The man who doesn’t beg, plead, pledge, ask, declare, or respond with indignation or defiance.

He neither belittles the woman nor prostrates himself before her.

Instead, he remains calm, understanding, gracious, yet without emotion – he still shows some sadness and care. Just not an outpouring of it. He handles the breakup with masculine aplomb.

Perhaps it is because this reaction is so rare, but this Nonplussed Romantic Breakup Attitude is the single biggest way to ensure that you remain stuck deep within a woman’s mind post-breakup, leading to positive feelings on her end, and a whole lot of chasing from her to get you back before you even expect it.

It is how you seduce her on your way out, just as you did on the way in.

When a woman hits you with a skeptical accusation, fire back with this clever response: the “others say” tease.

I wrote a quick post on X about these but I want to expand on the concept in a tactical article here.

The next time a woman accuses you of something, agree & amplify while passing your answer through other people’s mouths:

🙎🏼‍♀️ “You’re a sexist!”
👨🏻 “That’s what all the ladies tell me.”

🙎🏼‍♀️ “You don’t have any money.”
👨🏻 “That’s what they told me at bankruptcy court.”

🙎🏼‍♀️ “I’ll bet you have a 3” d!ck.”
👨🏻 “My doctor said I’m a medical anomaly.”

Not only is it funny, and not only does it give you that devil may care charm, it also confuses her because of the claim that it comes from someone else.

Confusion game = ultimate game to use on women who are acting uppity.

— Girls Chase 🏃‍♀️💨 (@GirlsChase) December 10, 2024

An “others say” tease (or a pass-through tease) is a tease uniquely suited for dealing with tests and criticism. It’s a very simple tactic that nevertheless wraps up multiple tech in its execution:

• Agree & amplify
• Pattern interrupts
• Social proof / preselection
• Confusion game

It’s an optimal tactic for women who are skeptical or hostile to you, though you can also use it with girls at any stage with any level of interest.

Let’s have a look at how it works.

When girls try to set frames on you, rather than bust them or resist them, just commandeer them. Take her frame over and make it YOURS!

Now for a particularly devious tactic:

The frame commandeer.

This little bit of attitudinal jujitsu allows you to take control of a frame a girl attempts to set. It then puts the frame at your disposal to use to turn the pressure she attempted to use on you right back against her.

You will use this tactic with girls who are already hooked on you and attracted to you. It is NOT for girls you haven’t hooked yet (it doesn’t work then).

The more into you a girl is, the stronger this tactic works.

Let me start with an example for you.

Women will talk to you in polite or inquisitive but often boring ways. To make it flirtation, you must inject playfulness into your chat with a girl.

Commenting on my article about dumbing yourself down to sleep with smart girls quicker, Jason H asks:

Hi Chase,
Any advice on transitioning conversation to more teasing/flirting in certain scenario's to make the dynamic more fun/seductive
- When she is focused on connection, but you want to inject some more teasing/flirting
- When she is focused on catching up/factual information such as how is this going, how are things at Y etc or other impersonal topics
- In group scenario's where it's more difficult to do this and you want to tease or flirt with a certain girl

Basically asking about identifying cues and opportunities to inject a little more teasing & fun into conversations, or strategies to direct the conversation towards more fun in a socially skilled way.

Thanks!

Sure, let’s talk about this: how do you turn your conversations playful?

Essentially, when you’re dealing with girls who are trying to connect or extract facts out of you, meanwhile you are trying to make it a playful, flirtatious conversation, what you are dealing with is a frame battle. She wants to frame the conversation one way while you want to frame it another.

I want to touch on whether it’s necessary to seize control of the conversation this way – and what can happen if you do vs. if you don’t. Then we’ll talk making your conversations playful.