Tactics Tuesdays

Everybody likes to assume men are the factual, analytical sex. But there's more to being factual and analytical than one's sex. Certain environments prime you to think in factual, analytical ways. Many of the women you meet are fresh out of these environments.

When a woman spends all day in an office or (to a lesser extent) a university, she can get mechanical in her thoughts. It takes some work to shake her out of that and get her into a playful, social mood. Along the way, you can trip yourself up by returning her to Fact Land.

In Fact Land, there's no such thing as a sexy man. Men can't be sexy when they concern themselves with facts. Can you factually, analytically define sexiness? Neither can she. Further, you need women out of a factual mindset to properly take them through seduction. Seduction consists of many counter-factual moments... like telling her "Let's get out of here, it's so noisy and boring" to get her back to your place. Well, it's actually more interesting in whatever stimulating environment you have her in. A woman in an emotional headspace who likes you will agree, because she'll be more interested in you than the environment. A woman in a factual headspace however will not see how going to your dull apartment is more interesting than a chaotic bar or street scene. You must guide her away from Fact Land into Feeling Land.

This week's Tactics Tuesday isn't about how to pull her completely out of facts and into feelings. That's a more involved process... one that involves doing things that make her feel, and helping her feel allowed to let down her protective wall of facts. This post is about not accidentally triggering her factual side while you're striving to awaken her feelings.

Use the 3-minute rule before you approach a girl. If someone will disrupt you or pull her away in the first 3 minutes of conversation, don't approach her (yet).

A little while back, we covered the 3-second rule. The 3-second rule is a tactic you can use to get yourself to approach women before you lose your nerve. It's a useful rule. You won't always use it, but if you struggle with approach anxiety, it should be your default.

Today we'll talk about a different tactic called the 3-Minute Rule. Although it sounds the same, this is a different rule with a different purpose. The 3-second rule's purpose is to get you to approach. The 3-minute rule is to focus your approaches and get you to avoid time-wasters... so you can zero in on worthwhile women.

As you use this rule more, you'll find your approaches succeed more. Early pickup wildcards will bother you less. And meeting women will grow more relaxed and easier.

If you can future project, you can lead a woman to imagine you as a part of her future. This is no mythical trick -- it only takes words to do.

One of your prime objectives with a new woman is to have her think of you in a different way from how she thinks of other men. Most men to her are nameless, faceless strangers. Even if they're attractive, if she feels no connection to them, they'll struggle with her.

Yet once a woman feels a connection with you, and envisions the possibilities with you, it changes. She won't dismiss you out of hand. She'll consider what you say to her. She opens up to your suggestions.

One tactic to 'fast track' women envisioning themselves with you is future projection. To project something is to push it out and paint a picture of it. When you future project, you paint a picture of the future.

Paint a good-enough picture, and a gal can start to feel like the two of you are already close to something like boyfriend and girlfriend... even if you've only just met.

Busyness can be very attractive to women. But to make it so, you need two things: flirtation and instruction.

Women like busy men. They find them attractive. This is because women like capable men, and busyness implies capability. If you're busy, you must have it going on.

You can't fake busy. Or if you try to, it won't come off well. There's too much nuance to being truly busy to effectively fake it.

However, if you actually are busy, there's a right and a wrong way to use your busyness with women. Use it the wrong way, and women will assume you aren't interested. Use it right, and you can up your attractiveness while making women invest more in you (and commit to the courtship).

If you run into resistance with a girl, instead of plow through, step away a moment... to let her fix her resistance herself.

Usually when you meet a girl, you don't want to leave her. If you leave her, she might leave herself! Some other guy might dash in to steal her away. Her emotions toward you may cool. There's no telling what could happen.

So, you will tend to be with her straight through. Straight to the point you take her contact info, then say farewell. Or straight to the point you invite her home (then take her there).

Once she's home with you, you'll be at her side the whole time too. You want her to get comfortable with you, after all. She can't get comfortable with you when you're not there.

Thus, this tactic might seem a smidge counterintuitive.

Yet if you want to solidify her commitment to you, and get her to value you more, this one'll do that.

And all you have to do to use it is (at the proper moment) leave her alone for two (2) minutes.

Women wear a specific facial expression when they want sex now. Keep your eyes peeled for it to get some easy wins.

There's a way a woman will look at you when she's totally into you and ready to go.

She tilts her head down. Her eyes widen. Her pupils dilate. Her eyebrows rise. She'll probably smile, and when she does, it looks like a childlike grin she can't control. You transfix her: she stares at you, looking like that, smiling like that, when you're not looking, and also when you are. If you stop speaking and just stare at her yourself, she'll stare back, with those transfixed eyes, longer than she normally would. You have the entirety of her attention. Her awareness radius has shrunk to you, and you alone.

She may face her body completely toward you. She doesn't have to, but she often will.

If she breaks eye contact, when she does it'll be to look down, even if she's usually the in-control sort who doesn't break eye contact down.

The nonverbal message you get from her as she does this is "I'm ready for it. Waiting for you."

The look is not sexy in the traditional flirtatious sense. It is not a thing a woman learns how to do. It is innocent, in a way. There is no practiced sensuality in it.

It's different from normal flirtation.

Instead, the look is wholly, strictly an involuntary expression that more says "I'm eager and willing" than it does "I'm flirty or horny." Eagerness and willingness are the key emotions behind the look. She is ready for whatever you want with her. She's handing herself over to you.

This look is impossible to mistake once you've learned to look for it.

If you haven't yet, it's one of the most absolutely essential looks to watch for.

As soon as you see it, it's 'game over' (in a good way)... if you notice and take action on it.

Inviting a woman over for dinner is a great date… if you use it right. Get the timing right, get the positioning right, and you have an easy way to close with consistency.

Over the years, I've always found the "let's cook dinner at my place" date a great one for bedding new, delightful women.

Used right, it gets a girl over to your place, alone, doing something constructive and romantic with you... and its gets you in motion around your place together, which gives you lots of opportunities to 'corner her' and kiss, touch, and much more.

However, as excellent as this date is, I've noticed a lot of guys get this date wrong, in a variety of ways. So, for today's Tactics Tuesdays, we're going to look at the most effective ways to make the 'dinner at home' date work extremely well for you.