Tactics Tuesdays

The easiest way to escalate to sex with a woman is to start fingering her… and then just never stop until your member's inside her.

There's this magical little love button every woman's got.

It's called the clitoris.

Most guys figure out that when they rub this magical love button, women get very turned on.

A girl whose clitoris you rub (once you've readied her for that step, of course) becomes animalistic.

She grows ready for sex.

Because of this most guys will rub that little love button.

Yet at some point most men do this weird, funny thing: they decide it is time for their penis to enter the woman, so they stop rubbing her love button and start fumbling around.

Yet when they stop rubbing her love button, and start to fumble around with their belt buckles, and condoms, and positioning, and getting over her the right way, and getting their penis into her in the right spot, very often the animalistic passion the woman felt while her love button was being rubbed recedes.

The spell breaks. Passion subsides. Logic reemerges.

Many times women 'come to their senses' and toss up new walls of last minute resistance.

"I don't know if I'm ready for that." "It's too fast for me." "I think we've gone far enough."

Sometimes this is enough to end the escalation altogether, and the man doesn't get sex.

I have seen men concoct all sorts of brilliant plans for how they'll do things better the next time they reach a similar position with a girl. They will say certain things, they say; or they'll get out ahead of her objections up front, or maintain a more unshakeable frame.

While those things will help, there's something a lot simpler, a lot more pleasurable, and infinitely more effective you can do, as well.

It is to simply keep fingering her until you've fully penetrated her with your penis, and not stop till then.

You just don't let off that love button until you've filled her love canal.

What happens if you fail to set proper relationship expectations? Well, your partner can have the wrong idea. Here's how to do a reset when things have changed.

On the forum, we have a member who has eased into a relationship with a girl he picked up off of day game. He never set expectations with her, and has insensibly come to treat the relationship as a girlfriend-boyfriend one.

There's just one problem: he wants to keep picking up.

Yet he's conflicted on how to proceed: he doesn't want to cheat on this girl and hurt her, but he also never said he was going to be her boyfriend, either.

So what should he do?

The answer, of course, is expectations.

More specifically, he needs to set some better (and much clearer) ones.

If you sleep with her too quick, the odds she sees you again go down. Want to raise them up? Re-seduce her once she's dressed and on her way out before you let her go.

If you do fast pickups, where you're sleeping with women very soon after meeting them, you'll run into a certain issue. It won't be much of an issue until you want to hang onto a woman. Then you have one you decide you'd like to see again, and up it pops.

The issue is that no matter how great a guy you are, when you are shagging women very fast, by default a lot of women may not want to see you again.

A woman may feel guilty about having slept with you so fast: "I'm not like that, I don't know why I had sex with him so quick," and this can make her not want to see you again.

Or maybe she enjoyed it, but she completely writes you off as a random sexy rogue (fuckboy) and has no desire to see you further.

None of this is an issue when a one-night stand is all you're worried about.

But it becomes an issue when you lay a girl you'd like to keep, then can't get her back out again.

However, there is one unique little tactic I've devised over the years that dramatically boosts your ability to convert a fast-lay into a girl who'll come to see you again.

Before I tell you about it, you should understand a few things about how people make decisions, first (and actually, I am going to give you a bonus tactic too... so really it's two tactics here).

If you have an agreement with a woman, then time passes, and she wants to renegotiate for yet more favorable terms… what do you do?

A woman writes on Reddit about her relationship:

I’ll try to keep this short... my fiancé and I have been together for 5 years now. I knew very early in the relationship I had no intention of taking his last name. After the first year or so of dating when we talked about the future I mentioned I wouldn't want to take his last name because I like my last name. I’m second generation Italian and my last name reflects that. It’s an important aspect of who I am and my fiancé at the time understood. I said I probably would be fine if any kids we had had his last name and we dropped the conversation since it was so early in the relationship.

Fast forward four years we are obviously much closer to actually having kids then when we had that initial conversation. I mentioned today that I’m not sure I want the kids to just have his last name. I explained that it didn’t seem fair for them to be half genetically mine, and for me to carry them for nine months but for their names only to reflect him. I listed some options other people do, hyphenating the names, using one last name as a middle name, making a new combined last name, etc. To be clear this would only be for the kids I’m not asking him to change his name.

He said this wasn’t fair because he had already “compromised” by saying I could keep my name and that I told him the kids could have his last name so I can’t change my mind. I told him I’ve changed my mind as we have matured and the prospect of kids has become more real (which in my mind seems more fair then holding me to an off hand comment several years ago) but he is still extremely upset and not talking to me.

Now, Reddit, as you might expect, being Reddit, is in full support of this woman.

I'm not really interested in whether she should take your name, or the kids should take her name, or you hyphenate last names, or whatever. The whole situation is frankly a little ridiculous.

Regardless, my interest in this seemingly petty affair is this: what do you if you've already established something in a relationship, and then your woman decides to unilaterally change it?

The guy here was obviously upset. But look how he reacted: he just went off and sulked.

This is not the way you deal with someone attempting to renegotiate previously settled terms.

When a woman wants to pull a switcheroo on you, you don't beg, plead, or sulk.

Instead, if you can't shut it down, or talk it out calmly, you pull a switcheroo right back.

When she looks down, smiles, and brushes her hair back, you've spiked arousal.

During the course of every seduction, at certain points a woman's arousal will spike.

She'll go from "This guy's interesting to talk to" to "Wow, I think I like this guy."

At some other next point she'll then go from "I think I like this guy" to "Ohhhh... I want this guy."

You can see these arousal spikes (they get called 'buying temperature spikes' or 'BT spikes' in the seduction community) fairly obviously much of the time. Women will do things like:

• Droop their eyelids ('bedroom eyes')

• Smile lasciviously at you

• Move much closer to you

• Let out a little moan

• Blush/flush their cheeks

• Flash (suddenly raise) their eyebrows at you

• Begin to touch you on their own

• Let their lips part and mouth hang open a bit

• Tilt their heads at you

(incidentally these are all things you can -- and should! -- do yourself as your seductions progress to create the feeling of greater intimacy and escalation)

When you see a few of these signs, it's a pretty clear indicator you're turning her on.

So what do you do when you see them?

Jump all over them?

Point them out?

You can guilt trip women in fun, light ways (without putting a lot of pressure on them or being manipulative) to keep your courtships moving forward. The secret is the 'fun' part…

Don't worry, we're not going to talk about the Scumbag Steve, Dark Side version of this.

This article's about something Light. It's the playful version of guilt tripping.

Guilt trips are a persuasion tool you can use to get a woman out of her head and thinking about things from your perspective. They add another piece of the puzzle to an equation where a woman may only have been thinking about her own immediate wants.

You can use this kind of fun 'guilt trip' to accomplish various useful items:

• Get a woman to stick around longer with you in-person
• Get her to rethink her decision to cancel plans / flake
• Get her to comply with a request or agree to a venue change

And more. We'll talk about how below.

Do it in a playful way, and you have a nice little pattern interrupt that shakes a woman out of the pattern she was in, and often loosens up the vibe a good bit to boot.

When she's just about to reject you… or she isn't, but the conversation's grown stale… or you just need a boost… break out the 'interest bait', and suck her back in.

Wanna know something you're sure to find useful with girls?

By asking an intriguing question, or making an intriguing yet unfinished statement, you can draw someone in.

You can use this 'interest bait' to prop up slumping conversations. It's also great as a boost to otherwise okay interactions that could benefit from stronger energy.

Questions and statements like these serve as a powerful tactic for transitions from one conversation topic to another, too.

Such a tactic can even let you stop in her tracks a woman who's about to walk away (as I discussed in a few examples in my article last week on women who are closed off or impossible).

This is a simple tactic to use.

It also isn't anything new. I've used plenty of such questions and statements in my examples in articles throughout the years, as have the other authors here. Alek Rolstad makes good use of interest bait in his excellent 9-part series on hooking girls in, which any serious student of seduction owes a read.

Additionally, simply by using interest bait you set yourself up as a sort of authority (which is in itself attractive).

That's because, usually, the only people who talk this way are people in authority positions. So long as it comes across congruent, interest bait is powerful to use.

Yet few men use it. You ought to be among them.