Tactics Tuesdays

Your first time in bed goes a long way toward determining whether a woman sees you again. But it’s not about your technical performance. It’s about how you make her feel.

I'm seeing a lot of cases recently where guys are laying girls, giving mediocre performances in bed, then not being able to get those girls out again.

They message them for a while, and the girls message back less and less enthusiastically, less and less frequently.

Eventually these girls drop off their radars altogether.

There are some common themes I'm seeing in both why these girls drop off and why the guys in question can't get them back.

I started this article wanting to talk about follow-up strategies, and I may get around to that.

But as I got into it, it occurred to me that really the core problem is how guys are behaving with women in the bedroom.

So instead, in today's article, I want to give the reader some tactics he can use to reverse this trend in his own seductions, in the bedroom, and retain more of the women he takes to bed.

Do you keep running into the same objections? Construct frames that circumvent these (and increase your odds by 3-5%).

I know a guy who always struggles with chemistry with women.

He doesn't do things exactly quite right. He uses all the right tactics and techniques with women, but he uses them in this way that is just a little bit 'off'.

When you try to point it out to him, he insists that in fact he is doing everything correctly. Then he says it must be a problem with the technique or that the technique doesn't work for him.

Regardless the reason, he constantly runs into issues where he has what he thinks is a great date, followed by the woman telling him at the end of it (or texting him later on) that she "just isn't feeling it."

"There's no chemistry," she says. Or "I didn't feel a spark."

I can't get him to fix the vibe/calibration issues. He doesn't see these as a real problem, probably because he's unable to pick up on this issue himself, even when women point it out or coaches point it out.

However, I wanted to help him, so gave him a tool I knew he could use: a 3% frame to help push things his way in those edge cases where it could go either way, but "I'm not feeling a spark" is the deciding factor.

When you escalate but she stops you cold, it can be awkward walking her out. To keep things cool (and raise the odds you see her again & bed her later), be merry as you walk her out.

Every guy has girls he pulls home who don’t go to bed with him.

Maybe she stopped you at the kiss, or maybe you got too shy and didn’t go for it.

Or maybe you made it somewhere into the escalation, only to hit a wall of last minute resistance you failed to overcome.

Regardless, you brought her back, hoped to get together with her, then it fizzled out.

In the end, you had to lead her out the door.

If you’re a reader on this site, you know that once she crosses that threshold, without ending up your lover, the odds she’s ever coming back plummet.

Nevertheless, there’s something you can do as you walk her out that increases those odds – not to 50/50, but at least to the point where you’ve still got a fighting chance.

Tired of girls flaking on dates with you? Then it's time to flake-proof your date plans. That is: make it so flakes no longer affect your life (or dating).

I know what you're thinking: "Is Chase about to tell me how to set up dates women will NEVER flake on?"

Well, no... no I'm not.

Sorry to disappoint.

There's no way to totally avoid flakes. They are a natural part of dating life.

However, I'm going to give you the next best thing:

Ways to flake-proof your date plans, that way when girls flake, they don't bug you or inconvenience you beyond the absolute bare minimum.

When a girl flakes on you, get her back by reverse flaking on her. You might not think it'd work – but psychology is weird (and it does work).

Over the years I've coached a lot of guys into getting girls out on dates who'd repeatedly flaked on them or ignored their messages.

There's a trick I use with this (credit: BradP) where you flip the frame on a flakey girl, and present yourself as the flaker and her as the flakey.

When I spell it out for you here, you're going to think of course it will never work.

It sounds like something that'd be so obvious no woman would ever fall for it.

Yet, even if she picks up on what you're doing (and not every girl will), it still works.

The effect is still there. She feels the emotions, feels like you flaked on her rather than the reverse, and you feel scarce and in-demand to her.

These emotions make her suddenly much more interested in coming out to meet you.

I've personally typed out messages for friends and students to send using this method that turned girls who were avoiding them into girls willing to come meet up with just a single text.

In this article, I'll tell you how I do that.

Barriers are a way to set up small 'walls' a woman must climb with you. In climbing these small walls, you can make a girl start to chase you.

The other day in my article on the click moment I mentioned the use of barriers.

Barriers are a tactic I've touched on only a bit before (in my article from long ago on being a challenge to women).

Today I want to go a lot more in-depth about this powerful technique.

If you're not using barriers, you're missing out on an outstanding tool to get the women you talk to chasing you.

So let's get you using them.

How do you handle a girl who's a tease? Well, simple… you tease her back (and get her to chase).

How do you handle the girl who's a genuine tease?

If you do nightlife, you'll meet those girls who are hot but also extraordinarily flirtatious teases. They come up to you, act flirtatious, seem interested, then turn cold and walk off.

15 minutes later they're back flirting with you again. Then a little while after they're off being cold again. You see them flirting with another guy. Then they're back flirting with you. Then off flirting with him again.

These girls thrive on the drama of feeling desired and feeling the power of being able to confuse and mesmerize.

They live in the nightlife scene and have figured out that pitting multiple men against each other for their affections even if indirectly is extremely powerful. They understand once a guy is sucked in he'll watch them, and he will see them flirt with another guy.

They know that there's nothing he can do at that point but watch, helpless, as she flits back and forth between him and the other guy (or guys).

Or... perhaps there's something he can?

Today I'll show you how to run a sort of game I call 'tease-tease game' -- which is, basically, way to tease the teases to the point they zeroed in on you.

First though, let's take a look at how guys usually respond to girls who are 'cockteases'.