Tactics Tuesdays

Not sure if a girl you’re talking to is into you? Want to find out a quick, fun, and easy way? Use a touch test! It’s like a compliance test – with touch!

All right, let’s have a little fun with this Tactics Tuesdays installment.

Today we’re going to talk about ‘touch tests’ of all sorts, from harmless to risqué.

What is a touch test? It is a kind of compliance test where the compliance you test for is her receptiveness to your touch. These tests run the full gamut from light incidental touches to slapping girls’ butts, manhandling their breasts, and pulling their hair.

See, I told you it went all the way up to ‘risqué’.

To use anything more than very light touch tests, you’re going to need a healthy helping of calibration. But there’s one other thing you need to use ANY kind of touch test, too: congruence.

When you’re in a venue where you cannot easily approach, you have another option: wave her over. By beckoning girls to you, you change the dynamic.

Commenting on my article about how to open a girl who’s moving, TheDude asks about opening in a very particular sort of venue:

There's this one hyper-cool venue, where all the best cool chicks go. The characteristics:
-a lot of hot women, around 50/50 women-men ratio
-the venue is an outdoor bar, ofter very crowded
-people come here in groups, they sit down by the tables - difficult to make a move here because you need to open whole group + often there's no spot to seat (making you an outsider)
-they only moment you can talk to these chicks freely is when they move from point A to B. The window to act is very short, making things even more difficult
-I'm quite known in my city, so I can't spam approach and I need to minimize negative effects of potential rejection

I'm over 30, I've done some crazy women-related shit, but now I prefer sniper game approach - minimal effort, maximum effect. I'm good with women in general, but in this venue I feel blocked.

The tap & beckon sound good for chicks that walk very close to me, are there any tactics for chicks moving outside of my reach? Should I run after them? What should I say to spark enough interest, but make it look low-effort? Or maybe I should wait for her to join her group and open them (yikes)?

This kind of situation – where everyone is seated at tables with their social groups and there really are not many great opportunities to just bump into people – lends itself less well to approaching. However, if you’re willing to be creative, you’ve got options:

• You can post up at the bar or near the bathrooms (or, if the venue has one, in the smoking lounge) and meet women as they drift in.

• You can run super sociable extrovert-style game where you open people at the tables around you, then jump to their tables, then after chatting with them a bit open the tables adjacent to them. All the while you can be introducing the people between tables and creating a real lively time.

• You can do the good ol’ fashioned “hostess, send a drink to that lovely brunette two tables over in the green dress and let her know it’s on me” and give her the sly nod when the hostess delivers the drink and points you out to her. If she seems excited or intrigued, wait a moment, then go open her.

However, for my money, the most Law of Least Effort-abiding way to open girls in situations like these is this: you catch a girl’s eye and wave her over.

It’s a dead simple tactic. It’s supremely confident. And when it works, it starts you off in an ideal frame.

When a girl tells you you’re too old for her, she can really mean it… or it might be a test. How you respond depends on how firm her age gap objection is.

A forum member shared a conversation recently with a girl he met at a party, vibed well with, and took a phone number from… who then protested when he messaged her that he was “kinda too old” for her.

He responded in typical guy fashion, trying to get her to explain her reasoning and then negotiate her out of it. She responded how people typically respond to people trying to convince or persuade them, by sticking to her guns harder. Needless to say, our hero did not get the date.

What can you do if a girl protests you’re “too old” for her?

Are you doomed… or does it depend?

When you talk to a girl, but she gets distracted and points something else out, what’s the best way to respond? There’s a right way – and some wrong ones.

Commenting under last week’s Tactics Tuesdays installment, on “no spirals”, a reader asks:

Hi Chase,

I have a question, you may can help. I noticed in two of my recent flirts, that I was talking to a girl, and in the situation I came in indirect, but I gave a vibe of romantic interest (not direct statement, but some very light flirting). I noticed both times, we were talking and the girl suddenly starts to say „oh, look how cute this dog is“ or „look, this kid is so cute“. I felt this was „off“, and I even felt a bit „platonic“, however it also felt like she is a girlfriend telling her boyfriend that she finds something cute, so its a VERY mixed signal for me. On the one hand, it kind of infuses too much cuteness and platonic feelings for a flirt, on the other hand, it is some kind of a submission. Do you know these situations and know what to make of them?

Thank you

The quick summary is he’s made some approaches on girls where the girls interrupted to comment on something cute nearby (kid, dog). He wasn’t sure how to respond. Agree? Ignore? Tell a story about your own experiences with kids, dogs, or whatever the cute thing is?

Before we discuss the best response, first let’s talk about what you’re feeling and why it FEELS like the conversation is in danger of veering into ‘platonic friend’ territory.

A ‘no-spiral’ is a way to get a girl to undermine her own objection – by getting her to say “no” to one absurd question about her objection after another.

What do you do when a girl gives you a somewhat tough objection that you nevertheless know is not impenetrable? For instance, she tells you something like:

• “I think I’m probably too old for you, don’t you think?”

• “I’m not really dating right now, if that makes sense.”

• “My friends asked me to wait here and not go anywhere.”

• “I’m seeing a guy non-seriously but I don’t think he’d like me going out with anyone.”

Well, you can try to debate with her, but that won’t get you much of anywhere. Debating women is not usually seductive. You can try teasing her, but that doesn’t address her objection, and won’t normally go anywhere either.

What you can do instead to fly past her objections and free her to comply is to create and use a “no spiral” – a nifty little technique that gets her refuting her own objections.

When a girl is laughing a lot but also blocking you from moving forward, what do you do? Simple enough: you tell her she’s blowing it – and WAKE her up!

Here’s a tidy little kit of banter lines you can use to enliven the dynamic with a girl.

Sometimes you’ll get a girl where there’s a good playful/flirtatious vibe with, who is also testing you a lot or being resistant to your moves. There are different reasons this may be:

• She likes you but is treating it too much like “a game.”

• She likes you but is self-conscious due to people around.

• She likes you but not enough to go past flirtation.

You can get stuck in a loop here, continuing the playful banter, going nowhere. But then you aren’t moving forward, the banter gets stale, and the girl gets bored and leaves.

You can eject and go talk to other girls. If you’re somewhere social or it’s social circle, perhaps you’ll run into this girl again. If you’re texting her or it’s online dating, maybe she’ll be easier to crack the next time you talk to her.

Or, perhaps if you eject now, that’ll be all she wrote – you won’t get another real shot with her again.

What you can do INSTEAD – to get yourself unstuck from that loop, flip the frame on her, and avoid having to hit ‘eject’ – is to tell the girl she’s blowing it with you, and put the pressure on HER to get things moving.

CAPTION

As you move about your social life, you are bound to receive compliments. Compliments can be a funny thing: while they are nice to receive, we don’t always know how to receive them. Should we compliment back? Self-deprecate? Accept the compliment with a ‘thanks’?

Part of the confusion revolving around how to respond to a compliment is this: not all compliments are the same.

To respond appropriately to a compliment, first, we need to figure out what kind of compliment it is.