Tactics Tuesdays

Need to make things more romantic/sexual? Want a girl to tell you how to seduce her? Use the lover lens… and let her tell you how her past lovers have done it.

One of the things I have discovered over the years is that seduction is definitely NOT "one size fits all."

If you always seduce in the same way you may not realize this.

You might even be consistently successful with your schtick, if you have it really locked in and use a broadly seductive approach to game.

However, there are little nuances that work better for one girl and worse for another. If you know what they are you're at an advantage, compared to men who don't.

How do you find such things out though?

After all, you can't just ask a girl for them... or can you?

In fact you can, with a little tactic we might dub 'the lover lens'.

So some guy wants to disrupt your conversation with a girl, either to talk to you or to take her for himself. If you can’t ignore him, what can you do? Destroy him!

Quick little tactic that absolutely wrecks anyone trying to butt into your conversation with a girl.

Every guy's been talking to a girl only to have some random dude rudely interrupt his conversation, either trying to talk to him or trying to talk to the girl.

Sometimes it's because the interloper is uncalibrated and just wanted to talk to you or her but did not know how to wait properly for an opening in the conversation to jump in.

Other times it may be because the interloper directly wants to steal your girl, and he's hoping to peel her off you, or to peel you offer her (either so his wingman can talk to her, or so he can back-turn you once he's gotten you to break circle and turn his attention to the girl, with you now out of the conversation).

My normal recommendation (and normal policy) is to just ignore the guy (see: Dealing with Disruptive Men).

Most guys won't be able to break into a conversation if you don't acknowledge them, especially if the girl is into you enough to follow your lead and ignore the guy so long as you're ignoring him too.

But what do you do if the guy is really loud, aggressive, and in your face?

What do you do if he approaches the girl first, and you can see she's about to crack and break circle to engage with him?

There's an alternate tactic you can use -- something of a disruption Plan B -- if you're quick enough on your feet.

I call it the 'Disruptor Destroyer'.

Start a new conversation with a woman by asking her to do something. Compliance openers kick off interactions with you taking the lead right from the beginning.

For intermediates and up.

Imagine if you could start off an interaction with a woman by having her follow your instructions immediately, instantly kicking things off with a frame of authority, right from the get-go.

That's compliance openers: a handy set of openers that set you up as an authority figure from the very start of your interactions.

I discussed compliance openers a bit a week ago when I talked about cycling through openers, where when a girl fails to engage much on your initial opener, you simply move to a second opener, and perhaps a third.

Today we'll look at using these more in-depth, including a number of examples, plus when to use them vs. when not to.

First, let's have a look at what compliance openers do for you.

If at first your opener doesn’t hook, try, try again. That’s the basis of opener cycling: using more than one opener on one girl. Don’t just open weak then plow.

Not every time you open a girl will she open with gusto.

Sometimes all you get is a blasé response.

She doesn't reject you, per se, but she isn't exactly ready to dive into a conversation.

You may want to just move on from a girl who's disinterested like this on the opener.

However, what if you want to persist?

If you just stand there and keep talking to her in the same way that failed to engage her the first time around, it doesn't work (I tried plenty of times as a beginner!).

Instead, you can use something I call 'opener cycling'... where you break up your early conversation, staccato-style, to attempt a variety of openers to see if you can't get her to hook.

If a girl is being snippy or you’ve hit a wall with her, make her chase you with a back turn… or just simply freeze her out.

There are a couple of old seduction community tactics I'd like to talk about today:

Back turns and freeze outs.

These are useful tactics when used correctly.

When used incorrectly they can make you look bitter at times, clownish at others.

The most key element of a successful back turn or freeze out thus is calibration: timing it right, using it correctly, and not doing it too short or too long.

By creating a vortex of value, you can suck girls into chasing you. Yet you need two (2) key elements to NOT become the dancing monkey / friend zone guy…

Here's a little technique I like to call the 'value vortex'.

I didn't invent it, but I haven't seen it named before (or if I have I don't remember what others have called it).

It's a suspiciously-simple sounding strategy that's very easy to get wrong. Therefore I do not recommend it to beginners. Beginners will see this and want to use it, but it will backfire for them. I'll explain why below.

The basics of this strategy are that you run a seduction in such a way that you only provide value to the girl's life -- heaps of it -- while sharing next to nothing about yourself. You must also be initiating touch and getting compliance as you do it, but only in the context of providing more value to her.

The effect, if executed well and on a girl who is not immune*, is that the girl you use it with will start to chase. She will at first be intrigued by you, then she will start to chase you harder, then harder.

If not used the way I lay out in this post, however, the strategy will backfire, and you will quickly friend zone yourself.

Disclaimers out of the way, let's open up the hood on this vortex and talk using it to seduce.

Both compliments and negs are part of a quadrant, but few men use them right. Most use the OTHER (far less effective) side of the quadrant: flattery and insults.

I want to talk about a dichotomy today I've not seen spelled out anywhere:

That is negging vs. complimenting.

Most guys in the community these days have largely abandoned both: they won't neg and they won't (or only poorly) compliment. Yet both tools can be quite powerful... when used correctly.

Much like many things in this space, both have fallen prey to misuse and recategorization as several waves of unskilled seducers have clumsily attempted to adopt these seduction tools, giving both bad names in the process.

This article isn't necessarily a re-taking of these; I have one coming on compliments soon that I think will give you a different perspective from both the neo-direct "simple direct flattery-based compliments" style and the more indirect "don't compliment her much/at all" style.

However, in the meantime, I wanted to make a quick piece detailing the 'quadrant' negs and compliments lie on... and give you a better idea about how and when to use each.