Tactics Tuesdays

Escape women's traps and make things fun with "You're so demanding!" or "You're such a girl!" and other variants of this playful, off-balancing tease.

Here's a little tactic/tease you may use, but perhaps not enough.

When women test you or do something silly or unexpected, or when you need to put the heat back onto them, use this line:

"You're so [BLANK]!" or "You're such a [BLANK]!"

For example... at some point, a girl you've recently met asks you a super serious question about cheating in a relationship. A question there's no way to answer seriously without either qualifying or disqualifying yourself. A question seemingly designed to suck all the fun right out of the courtship. How do you proceed?

One excellent way is with "You're so [BLANK]!" Like so:

Her: So. If you were married, would you ever cheat?

You: Wow. You're such a downer! We were having fun, then all of a sudden you're assessing my value as a long-term mate.

Use a bemused, slightly endeared delivery when you use lines like this. Show her you find the situation funny and unusual, though also that she's somewhat endeared herself to you (even if she is a little weird or uncalibrated) with her silly/cute behavior.

"You're so" or "You're such a" can spin around all sorts of uncomfortable conversational situations. Questions about whether or not you're a cheater are just the start.

Want an easy way to make a girl want it more in the bedroom? Make your physical escalation go 10% slower than she wants it to go.

One of the biggest aspects of sexual enjoyment is not the actual sex itself.

During the act itself, you might use good technique and be passionate. These things help up a woman's enjoyment (and yours).

But like a young child biding his time until Christmas, it is the anticipation that heightens her enjoyment of the experience most. Good sex (like a good Christmas) is magnitudes better with proper buildup and anticipation before it.

How do you build all that anticipation in her? I talked about some ways in an article some years back: "How to Turn a Girl On: 3 Tiers of Sexual Excitement."

Today I'll talk about another way: escalating just slightly slower than she wants you to.

As a high value man, it's easy to seem out of girls' leagues. A focus on the High Value Man Big 5 for attainability keeps you in-reach for women you like.

Two days ago we talked about meeting women while staying safe in a paranoid dating society. The 'safety from vengeful women' adds just one more layer to the already thick binder of reasons you want to keep your attainability in the green zone.

Attainability is key to your success with women. If it's too low, women will auto-reject you. If it's too high, they won't be interested in you. There is an attainability 'sweet spot' you must operate inside of to do consistently well with women.

The subject of today's article is how to stay attainable when you're already a high value man. If you're the type of guy a girl might think is 'out of her league', attainability considerations become even more important for you -- because it's easy for you to blow it with women just by being your normal charming self.

You meet a girl, and she tells you "You need to dress better when you go out" or "You shouldn't talk to girls that way." Can this be salvaged – or is your goose cooked?

Sometimes you meet a girl who hits you with a demand, a critique, or an instruction.

Sometimes it's in a flirtatious way. Others it's with attitude (whether annoyed, or of the schoolmarm variety). Either way, the words of the thing will look like these:

• "You need to start dressing better and not wear t-shirts so much."

• "You shouldn't walk up to girls and make fun of them before you know them."

• "You have to do something about the way you talk to people. It's too assertive."

• "You should be more respectful about how you talk to women."

• "You need to trim your beard. It's too long."

• "You should stop wearing torn jeans. It's not fashionable anymore."

... and any of a variety of similar instructions or critiques.

Again, the tone can vary: sometimes she's flirty; sometimes she acts like an adult lecturing a clueless kid.

There are a variety of ways to respond to these critiques. Most of these ways aren't that great.

However, there are a few excellent ways to respond to these, that are pretty much always what you want to go for.

The 3 second rule says you must approach a girl within three (3) seconds of realizing you want to talk to her. When do you follow this rule – and when not?

For today's Tactics Tuesday, I've dug up an old pickup rule some of you well know, and others may not have heard of.

The 3 second rule stems from the early online seduction community. It's a "Mystery" tactic (one of the early 2000s seduction pros). And while you don't want to be rigid about it, it for sure can be a handy little thing.

The 3 second rule works like so: from the instant you spot a girl you'd like to approach, you have three (3) seconds to approach her.

The purpose of the rule is to avoid all the downsides that accompany waiting too long to approach: the buildup of nervousness, worrying thoughts that lead to psyching yourself out, and the closing of the approach escalation window.

The rule itself is straightforward. Today we'll talk about a couple reasons it's useful... plus when it's better to ignore this rule.

Do you talk in clear, simple ways? The most effective communicators all do. Use these tips and make your language a breeze to understand.

Early in my teenage years, I began to learn humor. Mostly I watched late night talk shows and crafted one-liners. I tried longer funny jokes too, but they usually fell flat. The lesson I learned - without realizing at the time - was simple one-line quips usually worked best.

Another early humor realization: obscure humor leaves most people confused. For maximum laughs, choose easy-to-understand humor almost anyone can relate to.

After high school I became a tire salesman. At the start, I'd give lengthy sales pitches with all the features a tire had. I'd ask customers questions like "What are you looking for in a tire?" (since most people don't know much about tires, that question usually got blank stares). My boss noticed this and told me to forget about features and focus on the benefits. The customer doesn't care the tire was laser-etched. He does want to know it grips the road when the streets are wet, or provides a smoother, more comfortable ride. So I switched to my boss's clear, concrete examples, and I sold more.

Next my boss told me to ask how the customer's current tires did for him. And he told me to ask if there was anything the customer wished his tires did better. So I did that, and instead of blank stares I'd get direct answers: "It'd be nice if they'd lasted a little longer." Or "I have trouble with them when it rains." Now that I knew what each customer wanted, it became easier to sell, and I sold more still.

When I began to write sales copy, a friend told me to throw my copy into Hemingway Editor. The editor rates a piece's reading grade level: does it read at a first grade level? A fifth grade level? A tenth grade level?

I'd seen Hemingway before and run my writing through it. Sometimes it came back as "Post-Grad." How intellectual of me! I thought at the time. My friend pointed out this actually meant the writing was hard to read. The higher the grade level, the more challenging the read. Even for the well-read, lower reading level writing is easier to process. My friend mentioned he'd whittled sales copy of his for a finance product down from Grade 8 to Grade 4, and his sales doubled. "If I can explain a complicated finance product in fourth grade language, you can do it for anything," he told me. I became a devotee of the app. I didn't just use it for sales copy; I ran all sorts of writing through it, and used it to make all my writing simpler.

Next I reread Stephen King's On Writing. Suddenly all King's talk of removing adverbs, gerunds, and the word 'that', plus using simple words instead of complex ones stood out. I made all those changes to how I wrote and spoke.

Each step of the way, in every new language-based endeavor I took on, I learned the same lessons. Language works best when it is simple and clear.

When you kick a girl out (or leave her place yourself), you set excellent precedent – for the long-term of that relationship.

There's one very special thing you should do with every girlfriend you plan to be with longer than a month or two.

It's a thing she will always remember - one of those memories that sticks in the brain.

She may not necessarily cherish it... but then again, she may.

That thing is to kick her out.

You can also leave. Though leaving is less powerful than giving a girl the boot.

You don't want to do this capriciously. You should only do this if a girl truly gives you a good reason to.

Fortunately, women being the boundary-testers they are, sooner or later every girl will give you a good reason.

And when you give her the boot - or take your stuff and go - you set a precedent for the entire rest of the relationship that makes everything else you do easier... because it's backed up with teeth.